The Ugly Duckling

One of the more memorable movies which I've watched. The child actor, i can't remember his name is incredible. Anyhow, the concept goes, to do a good deed to 3 persons. The people who received the good deed does another good deed to 3 other persons, so it cascades till everyone is touched by generosity and kind acts.

I could afford to resume yoga classes again. Yesterday I went for my 2nd class after stopping for 8 months since being without a job. My guru Manoj asked me to stay back after class because he wanted to talk to me. I did. He asked about my wellbeing and my absence from classes. I told him of my financial situation, and that I recently begun as a hawker. Sales are still slow and I have to watch my expenses. He immediately offered to give me free classes for the next 3 months as long as I enjoy yoga. I said " I could not impose on him." You see, one of things that I missed doing since being jobless, was yoga. Then i started sobbing uncontrollably. Of which typical of a yogi he said "take deep breaths". The sobs continued till after i walked out of class.
I'm touched by his kindness, generosity, selflessness. I think that is what a true guru is, extending knowledge to others, without asking for anything back. This is greatness, when one is in the position to give and help, you just do it.

I am consciously following my guru's example, and extend kindness, love and support to others. Today, i took my helper to see a doctor. I donated all my leftover food to a home for the mentally ill.

I am paying it forward. As long as i'm in the position to help, I will.

Today 25/10/09, I survived my first week of being a Nasi Lemak, Penang nyonya style hawker!
My article, a letter which I wrote out of gratitude to all who have helped me, was published in Star Mag, Heart and Soul, Wingless Angels.
Here is a list of things which i've gladly given up to become a hawker.
I no longer wear black and white or grey suits to work. They are tight, stuffy, dull and uncomfortable. I've changed to a flowery apron, cotton t-shirts and loose slacks.
I have discarded my high heels and court shoes for fake Crocs, as they are comfortable and I won't slip or fall on slippery, wet, floor.
I don't paint my face anymore with thick foundation or two way cake (to appear like a porcelain doll), instead my face has a natural glow from sweat, grease and is splattered with chilli, turmeric and curry.
I don't smell of perfume, citrus, pine, flowery or spicy, yet i find, i do smell more exotic, yes, of prawn paste (belacan)!
My colleagues are no longer company directors, CEOs, CMOs, COOs. They have become indian food seller, coconut juice seller, pan mee, chicken rice, bak kut teh, cantonese fried, poh pia/rojak, yong tau fu and fish head curry cooks!
I don't face the computer 9 hours a day anymore, but I face a hot wok! My eyes no longer strain. But my face is red and flushed! I'm so hot!
I don't sit in a freezing air condition room, wearing a winter coat as most offices turn on the air condition at full blast, contributing to green effect! I turn on a propeller fan and receive natural breeze from a well ventilated kitchen.
I no longer lie in bed awake from anxiety and guilt, worrying about what to say to an employee whom my boss intends to fire because of incompetence, knowing that this man may lose his bread and butter and a family to feed.
Instead, I sleep soundly now, because my conscience is clear, and I'm simply too tired!
Being a boiterous person, I'm no longer told to hold my voice in check and tone down. Instead I can laugh out loudly now, or sing to the tunes of Harry Belafonte as I cook!
I don't have to be ready with answers, solutions and opinions. It's good for a change to be less arrogant and just listen. For, as i bite my humble pie and ask for help, so many strangers have come forth. They have become my friends.
Today, when i excitedly wanted to share my article with a customer, i was looked upon with disdain, and with a gesture like swatting of a fly, i was told to leave. I pray to be more sensitive to treat sales men, hawkers, people asking for donation with more respect and patience. Just listen to what they have to say, they too need to earn a living.
My life has become more simple and I thank god for this refreshing change!

I’ve come to believe that angels come in all shapes, without wings. It takes gratitude to experience and know that they’re around.

I just embarked on my own little business selling nasi lemak and nyonya curries. I’ve received so much encouragement, kind words, equipment, physical help from so many people. I’ve lead a pretty much “secluded” life. My partner Jules, who is blessed and surrounded by friends has spilled over his blessings to me. My family is god send and I think it was good karma that I’ve been lucky to be my parent’s daughter and my brother and sister’s sister.
Jules helped in setting up my stall and it is through his connection that I managed to get this much sought of space.
>
On my first day, my father and brother were present to serve and help. I had a trial on Friday upon my brother’s suggestion – that was clever and my rice turn out to be too soggy. Jules’ colleague Stania called at 9 am to ask if she, Sarah and Fiona could come over to help me out. Then Stania said “but I can’t get up at 9am!”. They came for brunch and were my cheer leaders. I forgot to mention Jules’ best friend Carmen and Koi who generously gave me a large rice cooker, a food warmer, friendship and advice on how to cook nasi lemak and pricing. Carmen and Koi came as well on my first day and give constructive criticism on the rice. I sold out on my first and second day. In Jules absence, we rented a room to a friend Irene. She has been my confidant and extended in this 2 weeks her friendship. She has taken care of the house, walk the dogs, did my laundry. Her company has comforted me.

I’ve met several very good people in the aunties who sell food around the Food Court. They are Aunty Linda who sells drinks, she’s in her 60’s. She works with her sister who is ill. She has a skinny small frame but under that frame is a giant! A heart so generous, kind, helpful and she is physically strong. She has advised me on the code of conduct, helped me to set up my parasol, advised me on government bureaucracy and checked on me daily. On setting up the parasol, there’s a technique to it. I was literally covered by the parasol and fell on my butt from the weight. There’s an another aunty who sells pork stew in her 70’s. She’s beautiful and well groomed. She advised me not to order drinks on behalf of customers as this would anger all the other drinks sellers. (drinks are territorial). She taught me countless things and introduced me to a good chicken seller. Yesterday, I watched across my stall, as she gently caressed the face of an old man seated beside her. I walked over to her and she introduced her husband. There’s another aunty who sells poh piah and she’s been checking on me too with advice. She told me of a former old lady who sold delicious nyonya rice dumplings and asked me to learn from my mother and live on the legacy. There's a sister Chin who sells noodles. She's given me several contacts for carpenters, electricians, locksmith.
The customers who came over and bought my food have been kind as well. One thing I’ve noticed is that they simply like walking into my kitchen and checking out what’s cooking, lifting wok covers.
I’ve not felt safer here than when I was in the corporate world.
My earnings for now may be slightly less than what it was. Yet, at the end of the day, after cooking a delicious dish, I feel blessed.

Thank you to all my wingless angels. You’re god send.

A TEXAN READ MY ARTICLE ON NOVEMBER 8, AND WROTE INTO STAR MAG.

Sunday November 8, 2009
Touched by article


I STUMBLED upon the article, Wingless angels (Heart & Soul, StarMag, Oct 25), and will now be reading more of your stories in your magazine because of it. I just want to say thanks for publishing the story that Lily wrote.

It was very touching; my heart goes out to the people mentioned in the article.

Lily is a good writer, and I want so much for her to make it! It’s nice to see that the compassion she and the others show towards one another is very much alive in the human spirit.

John, Texas

United States

If my breast could speak, they would say,
“Please don’t ogle.”
“Look at my face when I speak to you.”
“They are called breasts, not boobs, tits, boobies, tata’s, headlights, jugs?”

If my breasts could think, they would ask for,
Acceptance, despite whatever size and shape they come in.
Strawberries, peaches, coconut or papaya.

If my breasts could feel, they would long for,
Tenderness, through self love.

If my breasts could hear, let these be the words (especially from my mate),
You are beautiful, as nature have made you to be.

If my breasts had an ambition, it would surely be,
To nurse my little baby, suckling happily on my nipples
Knowing that they bring comfort to another little being,
Instead of being ornamental or a disappointment.

If my breasts had a choice, they would choose to be,
Healthy and normal.

In conjunction with Breasts Cancer Week.
Bless the hearts of those who have survived.

My friend and I wanted to have a day by the sea. We chose to go to Krabi, at the East Coast south Thailand. We have heard of its pristine blue waters and of course the nearby Phi Phi Island, made famous by Leonardo di Caprio.

We stayed at Sekusit Resort located at the farthest end of the beach resort. The beaches are about 45 minutes drive from the airport. All hotels are built opposite the beaches. There is a long dyke separating the beach from the streets.
We paid for a seaview room, which isn't the case. The room was on the fourth floor and there is no lift. (I twisted my ankle just 2 weeks before the trip). Since the room was prepaid we could not get a refund. Thus I endured the stairs and a somewhat blocked seaview room. The garden view room overlooked a row of potted plants and wall fence to the neighbour's.


We were famished and asked a tut tut to take us to a restaurant which sells good Thai food. We spent about RM 45 for lunch consisting very thick coconut green curry (mild), a small plate of fried morning glory and fruit juice. This is pricier than Malaysia. For dinner we splurged on seafood at a restaurant facing the beach. The venue was lovely because it was breezy. But the food was over priced and disappointing. The portion of pepper crabs which we ordered was very small and cost about RM 30, it was served with the shells covering the platter. So we did not see the tiny bits of crab underneath. I can't remember the rest of the food except the bill at RM 80! We rented a motorbike to move around on the second day. It was the coolest Vespa I've ever seen.

Personally I found Krabi a disappointment. The entire coastal line is dotted with hotels and rows of stalls selling clothes, collectibles, items for tourist. The food is pricey. I could not find authentic Thai food, not even from the road side stalls. The cheapest food from the local hawkers cost about RM 5, similar to KL standard but with a smaller serving. There were many stalls selling Thai pancakes with a variety of fillings like banana and chocolate, cheese, tuna, ham. The pancakes are similar to our local roti canai. The fruit shakes are good especially banana shake..
The beach and the sea is slightly polluted. We stayed for 2 nights.

We came accross a resort which gave us a culture shock. It appeared like an apartheid community for caucasians.

On our 3rd day we went to Phi Phi Island. It was another shock for us The whole beach front is covered by shops! Our hotel was within walking distance from the pier. Our hotel Phi Phi Island Resort cost about RM 175 a night. It was seaview as well but below my window lies zink roofs of rows and rows of shops. We have to look further accross the roofs to see the sea/coast.



We took a half day snorkelling trip which cost RM 45 per person. The water was blue and clear. We snorkelled off an island before stopping over at Monkey Beach. The corals and marine life isn't too bad. (i'm lost of words as I've seen better corals and marine life in Redang and Lang Tengah Island off Malaysian waters). Approaching Monkey Beach was an adventure. We had to swim about 5 meters to get to the island. The sea became choppy as a storm was approaching. 2 meters from the island, there were roped tied to the clift. We have to hoy ourselves up to the clift. Then climb a rope ladder. The waves would either pull our body away from the clift of slap us against the rocks. My partner asked me to brace myself for the next wave to carry me to the clift.

After reaching the top of the clift which was about 1 storey high, we had to walk through a small jungle which lead to a hidden beach and a lagoon. It was beautiful. I was reminded of the Blue Lagoon. This is wear Leonardo Di Caprio was filmed in the movie Beach.
There was a slight sand storm because of the approaching storm.

We returned to our fishing boat. The sea became more rough. After climbing down the clift, I had to pull myself over the 2 meters of rope to avoid getting slapped against the rocks. Moving with the waves helped.

The boat ride was rocky at certain parts of the sea and we were drenched from the constant waves splashing into our boat.

On our last day, we were running out of money. We stayed at a budget hotel on Krabi. It cost only RM 50 and it has all the facilities of a 3* hotel. It was clean, it had a fridge and a save to keep your valuables. Seven Eleven is a life saver when your funds are short. My friend bought a rice patty burger and you can help yourself to all the salad as filling. There were packed boxes of noodles and fried rice which we bought for lunch and breakfast.

We spent RM 2000 for a five day trip which could have cost less if we had gone to the East Coast of Malaysia.