The Ugly Duckling

Create a warm ambience in your home with these DIY tealight holders.

Material:
Any kind of short plain glass or colored glass
Beads
Laces
Ribbons
Hot stick glue
A dash of creativity!

These tealight holders are available for sale as well at RM 8 per piece.

Ingredients:

To blend
3 tbsp chilli paste (depends on how hot you want it to be)
1 bowl of shallots
1 thumbsize shrimp paste (belacan) pre-roasted till crumbly
1 teaspoon turmeric powder or fresh turmeric
2 cloves garlic
7 pcs of daun limau perut slice finely
3 stalks of lemon grass
Salt to taste
2 eggs to beat together
1 cup of coconut milk
Salt to taste

700 grams of fish fillet - eg dory fish, de-bone, salmon, ikan ayam, tilapia.
Any type of meaty fish. Fish meat to slice in about 2inches long

Garnish with daun kaduk at the base. (Daun kaduk is a heart shape leaf, grows wild in the tropics in shady spots).

Mould - pour into little bowls or fold a pocket with banana leaves

Mix all ingredients. Then scoop about 1 to 2 pcs of fish fillet in a small bowl plus the mixture above.
Steam for about 10 minutes till cooked.

Ingredients:

One bundle of fresh young "sayur paku" price about RM 1.Pre-blanch the fern in hot boiling water and quickly remove. Otherwise the fern will turn brown.
Sliced shallots about 1/3 bowl (rice bowl)
Ginger flower (bunga kantan) 1 piece thinly sliced
2 tablespoon dried shrimp pre soaked in hot water and pound
3 tablespoon of scraped coconut, fry till brown and fragrant on low fire and pound.
Sugar to taste
Lime juice to taste
Pinch of salt

2 tablespoon chilli paste (pounded)
1 thumbsize shrimp paste
To prepare sambal belacan (fresh chilli with shrimp paste).
Roast the shrimp paste till it becomes crumbly and dry.
Pound chilli and belacan together.
Add a pinch of salt.

Take a salad bowl and toss all these ingredients together.

Ingredients:

15 large fresh green hot chilies
3 shallots, sliced
9 cloves garlic
1 tsp finely sliced fresh galangal
1 tbsp sliced fresh lemon grass
9 tsp finely sliced kaffir lime rind
1 tsp chopped coriander root
5 white peppercorns
1 tbsp roasted coriander seeds*
1 tsp roasted cumin seeds*
1 tsp sea salt
1 tsp shrimp paste

Preparation
1. Combine coriander seeds, cumin and peppercorn in a mortar, pound well. Transfer to a bowl and put aside.
2. Pound hot chilies and salt together well. Add the remaining ingredients except shrimp paste, pound until mixed well.
3. Add the cumin mixture and shrimp paste, continue pounding until smooth and fine.

Storage: In freezer for 3- 4 weeks

Measurements:
Note that measurements are not specific as in exact weight or litres.
A bowl - usually standard chinese rice bowl
A pinch for salt
A thumbsize - reference to shrimp paste

Index:
Shrimp paste or belacan in malay is fermented prawns. It appears like dark brown butter but smells like dead fish. Pungent/strong. To use, cut a piece off and gently fry under slow fire until it crumbles to a powdery form. Please close the windows to your kitchen, otherwise the whole house/furniture will smell.


Suitable fish (ikan in malay):

Ikan kembung,
Ikan bawal hitam / putih
, salmon, tuna chunks, red snapper.
Recipe is for 700 grams of fish

Ingredients for the curry:

To blend together
1. A bowl of shallot (size of bowl rice bowl)
2. 3 tablespoon of ground chilli (dried) or chilli paste
3. 1 teaspoon of turmeric powder (for color)
4. 1 thumbsize belacan
5. 3-4 stalks of lemon grass

6. Cooking oil about 3/4 bowl (mom says more oil makes the curry attractive).

7. Tamarind 3 tablespoon mix with 2 bowls of water
8. Sugar and salt to taste.
(Sugar creates a balance in the sourness of the tamarind)

9. Garnishing cut large onions in circles and ginger flower (bunga kantan).

Method:

1. Heat oil
2. Fry the blended ingredient on low fire until fragrant. You want to be able to see the oil separating from the ingredient.
3. Add tamarind juice - increase fire till everything boils. Add sugar and salt to taste.
4. Add fish and garnishing (onions & ginger flower). Allow to cook for about 10 minutes or till fish is cooked.

MMMMMmmm! Mom is beside me now as I write.

As far as I can remember, from my childhood days to adulthood, good, abundant food is most important. We were never short of wanting.

I remembered as a child that cooking curry was a tedious affair. Under the supervision of my grandmother, my father had to grind bowls of chilli, onions and spices with a stone grinder (called batu giling in malay, it has a lesung - which is a solid granite stone rolling pin and a stone platform to serve as a chopping board). My grandmother would slaughter a life chicken in our backyard and soak it in boiling water to enable easier removal of the feathers. That's the part where I run to hide as you hear the panic squaking of the chicken and the "Plomp", silence. My mom had to pluck every feather from the chicken. My dad once said he had a wild goose chase after a chicken which was beheaded already.
Mom and dad sighed at those bygone days, thanks to modernization and the electric blender.

Food brought our family together especially during Chinese New Year. My mom learned how to cook chinese dishes and curries from my grandmother. We are chinese nyonya, therefore our food is influenced by the Malays. As a child, I enjoyed having my cousins, friends visit during special occasions. Little did I realize back then, what united us and created this sense of warmth, friendship and family love - it was and always had been my mother's cooking. Her generosity extended to aunties packing meat stews and curries home. After the party, mom would quietly clear and wash the dishes. Occasionally our aunties would help.


If I would say what is my mom's legacy, it would certainly be, live life abundantly and eat well.

I am dedicating this site to some of my mother's recipes, especially curries.
Feel free to try out the recipes yourself.

In my free time, i've bought plain wooden picture frames from Ikea. They come in a bundle of 3, at the price of Rm 6.
You can redesign these picture frames by using many kinds of materials. They make for original gifts.

Materials you'll need
Ribbons
Buttons
Lace
Pebbles
Chipped mirror
Beans
Sand
Shells
Pasta
Broken glass or ceramic ware
Poster Paint
Varnish
Ready made wooden picture frames
Glue

Method:
Paint a color on the frame first (if required) before sticking the items on the frame.
Stick your material eg beans. Useful glue is hot glue from a gun or UHU.
When it is dry, paint a layer of varnish over your material. The varnish will keep away ants and insects from infesting the beans.

If you do not have the time or wish to dirty your hands, you may like to purchase these original picture frames from me.
I'm selling each at RM 15.00 excluding post.

You can make your own toy. Martha Stewart has placed a step by step online guide.
http://www.marthastewart.com/article/glove-animals
Otherwise, you can also buy a book which shows you ideas on sock and glove toys: Craft ideas from Miyako Kanamori.

Dim Sum the Piglet
Dim Sum is a vegetarian because she doesn’t like seeing animals get hurt. She dreams of being a vet so that she can help them if they get hurt.


Kuntum the Bunny

Kuntum likes tending to the flowers and vegetables in her garden. She cooks delicious kuih from the vegetables that she harvest. She wants to introduce nyonya kuih overseas.


Chiku the Monkey

Chiku runs a banana factory. He makes banana chips, banana fritters and even banana split! People go bananas over Chiku's bananas.

Manja the Bear

Manja is a happy bear with her head in the clouds. She has a sweet tooth and helps out in candy store. Her biggest job is keeping her paws off the candy!

Grandmother was clearing our cupboard of past winter clothing and found old gloves and socks. Instead of throwing them away, she made them into soft toys for her grandchildren Ben and Anna who are 8 and 5 years old. She fondly calls these little characters the Closet Creatures. She says, at the stroke of midnight, when the children are fast asleep, The Flower Fairy from our garden, will alight on the closet.

She spins her magic from petals and pollen and blows them on the creatures, waking them from their daylight slumber.
Each has its own personality, likes and dislikes very much like humans do.

These soft toys are lovingly sewn by Grandmother for every happy child or adult young at heart. Since they are handmade, each is unique from the other. I am selling these toys at RM 20 each excluding postal charges.

I started reading about ED when I suspected that my ex-fiancee had this problem. I researched and even encouraged him to read. However, he chose not to do so and it was later after I joined him in Holland, and our separation, only did the doctors confirmed my suspicions.
My ex-fiancee may have been in denial or too ashame to look into this problem. This created so much heartache for us both. I'd like to assure men out there that it's perfectly ok to not "rise" to the occasion some times. Please seek help.

Erectile dysfunction, or ED, can be a total inability to achieve erection, an inconsistent ability to do so, or a tendency to sustain only brief erections.

Physical Causes are:

Aging, older men above 40
Disease which damages nerves,arterires,tissues
Diseases—such as diabetes, kidney disease, chronic alcoholism, multiple sclerosis, atherosclerosis, vascular disease, and neurologic disease
Lifestyle choices: smoking, being overweight, sedentary lifestyle
Surgery (especially radical prostate and bladder surgery for cancer)
Medication - blood pressure drugs, antihistamines, antidepressants, tranquilizers, appetite suppressants, and cimetidine (an ulcer drug)—
Emotional/psychological Causes are:
• Stress
• Anxiety
• Guilt
• Depression
• Low self esteem
• Fear of sexual failure

Summary:
• Erectile dysfunction (ED) is the repeated inability to get or keep an erection firm enough for sexual intercourse.
• ED affects 15 to 30 million American men.
• ED usually has a physical cause.
• ED is treatable at all ages.
• Treatments include psychotherapy, drug therapy, vacuum devices, and surgery.

Sources: http://kidney.niddk.nih.gov/kudiseases/pubs/impotence/ http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/men/reproductive/109.html

My fiancée had a condition called paraphimosis, I suspect as a Dr. Quack.

Phimosis and paraphimosis
Phimosis is a condition in which the foreskin of the penis is so tight that it cannot be pulled back (retracted) to reveal the head of the penis. Paraphimosis occurs when the foreskin, once retracted, cannot return to its original location.
Phimosis:
• often in children
• Natural cause is at birh
Other physical causes:
• Infection
• Scar tissue
• Chronic inflammation
• Balanitis, which leads to scarring and tightness of the foreskin
Results in: difficulty to urinate.

Paraphimosis
Occurance: after an erection or sexual activity, or as the result of injury to the head of the penis.
What happens: the foreskin becomes stuck behind the ridge of the head of the penis
Treatment of phimosis: may include gentle, manual stretching of the foreskin over a period of time. Sometimes, the foreskin can be loosened with medication applied to the penis. Circumcision, the surgical removal of the foreskin, often is used to treat phimosis. Another surgical procedure, called preputioplasty, involves separating the foreskin from the glans. This procedure preserves the foreskin and is less traumatic than circumcision.
Treatment of paraphimosis: reduce the swelling of the glans and foreskin by applying ice. Or apply pressure to the glans to force out blood and fluid.

Extracted from: http://www.revolutionhealth.com/healthy-living/mens-health/bedroom/bedroom-barriers/penis-disorders

Oh these female bosses
There are several of whom I've worked under
Some despite their size, has a voice like thunder
They would make you stammer
Out of their office, you would gladly clammor.

The first was a lady who controlled a factory
Weaving looms of silk
She was as colorful as those looms of silk
Her face was painted a porcelain white
Her eyeshadow as colorful as a nylon kite.
She would order her employees into her chamber
And then she would breathe out fire and burning amber
And gave you this glare
Even the boldest man gets a scare

The second oh my, was no other
than the jealous queen, from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
She was so evil, she made me shudder
Each time I enter
Her Torture chamber
She protested my hire
Because I was the sister
Of one of the company directors
This caused ill will
And she did not stop until
My reputation went under.

My third lady boss
Was 54 and about to retire
She was unfortunately ill
With hyphothyroid
This made her very paranoid
I was accused to be after her job
And her rice bowl, I intended to rob
When days were bad, her temper would flare
Tables she thumps, doors she slams
She appeared like a gorilla
With a bright yellow head scarf
Guarding her territory
Showing me my boundary
And yet I felt so sorry
For this dear old lady.

You were conceived,
Right after your mummy’s honeymoon.
A child so special,
You were truly an individual.
For even in your mummy’s womb,
You had a mind of your own,
And even until the ninth month,
You said with a firm “I won’t”,
Turn around upside down.
For it doesn’t make sense,
To do the headstand.


When I first laid eyes on you
At 7 months, you came to Penang
What a perfect baby, I can not help but coo.
For you looked like those model babies
From an advertisement like Dutchbaby
You had no temper tantrums
But instead, drew strangers towards your pram
With eyes and a smile that is flirty and friendly.

When you were three
You became so crazy
About trains and could memorize
Every train from Forest Greens
To Massachusetts
As you would wait at the track as early as sunrise.
And taught me which to take
Take the G train it will take you all the way,
To Central Park or Broadway.

At seven, the trains were forgotten
Replaced by Nintendo
And cards with anime heros

At eleven, your mummy told
You are in the swimming team
And one in a school of 160
In the science team, chosen to be
And how you love to compete
With your “kong kong”,
at a game of ping pong.
And always prefered to lead.

Approaching twelve your mummy calls,
To tell of growing pains.
Of a soon to be teenager,
Who forgets to do his homework,
And misses the school bus,
Who protest when your daddy and mummy fuss,
Or whenever your mummy ask,
If you know how to do a task,
She hears an obstinate “I know”
And yet your grades fluctuate
From As to a very low grade.

Oh Sis, you can’t have it always easy
For he was a perfect baby
From the age one to three
He never gave you sleepless nights
Unlike some other cry babies
Wailing and screaming
How alarming
He is going through an adolescent phase
Which you will patiently need to face.

I once worked
In this company
With a name which meant infinity
It deals in the business of R & D
Researching and producing CCTV
And selling solutions in security.

The boss was a short little man
With a name so big and long
It was in itself a jargon
For he was called Tatasukamakisamundan
And depending on which animal year
Or vastu sastra, fengshui and bad omen
He will conveniently switch his name
From a Tatasukamakisamundan to a Tatasukamanisamunden!

Now he likes to be known as the BOSS
Has a temper like that of a tempest
He was no other than the Queen of Hearts
Who behind his messy desk
You will hear the roar of the thunder
As he screams at his employees
Off with those idiotic heads
On my first week of service
He gleefully said
Of an engineer
Who is overly paid
And goes around stealing another man's wife
These are the idiots that I employ.

The company in itself is a daily drama
Of crisis upon crisis, as you see in Bollywood movies
Acted out by a brother in law as a general manager
And a sister who is a business development manager
With a rookie who is the Finance manager
But actually served as the Fire fighter
Who once told me
Of a project manager
Who was swindling the company
Of its money
And yet they did not fire
The thieving Project Manager
For a cry of despair from the General Manager
Who said "please don't fire"
My best man whom I personally hire.
For he is like no other
And you might as well chop off
My right arm and make me a cripple.

I was asked to leave
Because of a careless hindsight
And a culture misfit
It was for me a relief
Allowing me turn to a new leaf.

How does it feel like falling in love?
I hear some say
It is a sense of euphoria
And once you have taken a bite
How it engulfs you with a feverish delight
Many people have fallen prey
And they
Foolishly celebrate Valentines Day
Lavishing their objects of love
With chocolates or a room filled with roses
Confectionary dealers, florists and Hallmark cards
Will have a field day
As their cash register will ring
With the sweet sounds of prosperity "clang cling".

I remember
Receiving my first Valentine card
When I was fifteen
From a tall large indian boy of sixteen
I met him at a neighbor's party
Who when he danced, the floor tremored
And how he could sweat buckets
And held me tight like a big sweaty bear
As the music changed from disco to a ballad
My skinny body resist and want to tear
From this big wet bear
But my face was smothered
Under his armpit which became Niagara Falls
And I had to endure this "sweet" torture
Until the last notes
Of Air Supply
When he released me, I gasp and sighed.

After the party,
The boy next door, Mr Vincent Wee
Arranged to take me out on my first date
It was Valentine's day and he wants to celebrate.
My sister primmed me up for this date.
But suddenly both Mr Black Bear and Mr Wee arrived at my front gate.
I was bemused,
But not in the least amused.
At these siamese twins,
Who could not do without the other.
So, to both, I said;
"Stop this charade",
"It's one or the other".
They appeared confused
As Zorro could not do without Tonto
So to both I said,
Please GO.

There was a stately angsana tree
Right opposite my house
Lending its shade and shelter
To many tired travellers.

I played under the canopy
Of this old angsana tree
From the age of one to twenty three.

In April when the weather became hot
My angsana tree would bloom
Little blossoms of golden yellow
And when the wind blows
The roads and field in front of my house, is covered in yellow snow.

My little friends and I
Would sweep our fragrant confetti
Yellow angsana petals
Became a princesses’ bed
Then you would hear giggles and squeals
As we took turns to dive
Into our bed of fragrant confetti
And watched the petals flew, as if they became alived.
Or pretended to be a groom and a bride
Seated on a nipah leaf, which was our horse carriage ride,
As others cheered, and threw confetti.

Oh my lovely tree
How you have given me shade
With your strong boughs
Under your canopy I have laid
And the many times I have swung
Or like a monkey clung
To those strong, reliable boughs
Cradling me like a mother’s loving arms
Oblivious to danger and harm

Sweet tree,
I am now twenty three,
And I will have to leave,
To a faraway land,
To join my husband,
With him my fate lies.

Away from home, away from family,
Away from the shelter of my angsana tree.
I was dealt with reality.

How little I knew of this man,
Whom I have chosen to marry,
Had a debt of accrued taxes,
At 29 filed for bankruptcy.
Debt collectors and bankers, called on us daily.
And then one day,
An unexpected call,
From the police,
With a warrant to arrest,
Brought by a worried mother who would not rest,
As my husband had slept,
With the ‘worried mother’s’ teenage daughter,
And this secret he kept.
I became his alibi,
And he firmly deny,
And asked the policeman why?
Would a married man sleep,
With another woman,
When he already had a wife to keep,
His needs satisfied.
The police accepted, what my husband testified.

My trust in him broken,
I started to confront,
And asked for some bit of truth,
Instead we fought, with knife and tooth.
It came to a point when he threatened,
My dead body he will send
To my parents.

One day I escaped from this insanity,
And returned to the safety,
Of my angsana tree,
Holding a little package,
I dug a hole to bury,
Under the green canopy,
What would be my tarnished youth.
And laid down for a while,
Eventually this loving tree, my pain she soothed.

I bought Ben in a dingy pet shop near my workplace. The shopkeeper placed him in a thick newspaper bag. As I drove home, I heard the shuffling of paper and knew that Ben was nibbling furiously at his paper prison. The moment I reached home, I took the paper bag out of my car and found a hole in the bag but no hamster.

Yes, Ben was a golden hamster, my third hamster. When I got him, he was a feisty youngster and was about 1 ½ inches long. He had short hair, with red patches on a white coat. As an adult he grew to 4 inches in length with very large testicles that served as a cushion.

Back to his first day home, he had escaped from the paper bag. I yelled for my mom and dad to help me find my new hamster. Our search involved removing my front two car seats, uncovering the car carpets and after an hour, my mom saw a white fluff dropped on the floor. She thought it was a used tissue paper and alerted me. I pounced on it and realized it was my hamster. My dad named the hamster Ben because he opines that Ben is a name for a big person, and this little fellow, has a personality far larger than his size.

Ben is no ordinary hamster for he thinks and behaves like a dog. My earlier contacts with him resulted in sharp bites on my finger. Eventually, the bites stopped and he allowed me to touch and handle him. Every evening when he is awake I would tap at the cage and call his name. Then I would carry him to the kitchen for a piece of bread. He would gouge down pieces and pieces of bread till his cheeks were full and bulging. Then when he returned to his cage, he used his paw to pick out the pieces of bread. After a few weeks of doing this, I noticed that he started to expect that and waited at the cage door or bit at the door if I don’t come. This became our routine.
My Dad took a liking to Ben as well and dutifully assumed this routine as he cradled Ben in his palm and cooed while walking to the kitchen for bread.

As Ben became tamer, I would place him on the dining table each evening as I study. When I tapped on the table, he would walk towards me, through the piles of books, even though he was at the far side of the table. I started to carry Ben’s cage to my bedroom, closed my bedroom door and leave Ben’s cage door open. I could hear him scuttling around the bedroom and sometimes up my mattress and over my head.

I found out that Ben responses to his own name when I lost him for the first time. When I discovered that he was not in his cage, I called out his name frantically. Then I heard faint squeaks coming from the store room. When I went in, I saw Ben’s tiny head bobbing out from the very depths of our store room. He was standing on his hind legs and squeaking his reply as I called out to him. I knew that I could not get to him. So I kept on calling him, and tapped on the floor. Ben amazingly, walked through our storeroom’s maize of vases, cartons of books, a copper wok, shoes, towards me. He was covered in dust and cob webs.


When my sister gave birth to my nephew (her first born), my Dad and I called my brother in law in New York to congratulate him and asked what he intends to name his son. He mentioned Ben.


I also found out that Ben can walk at heel. In the safety of my bedroom, he would follow me around the bedroom like a puppy.

One evening I was carrying Ben on my shoulders downstairs. He fell from my shoulders and bounced off a few steps before landing on our concrete floor. He past away the next night. I was alone at home as my parents were in New York with my sister and her new born. I called my brother in law and told him that Ben had died. I was sobbing badly and he immediately passed the phone to my Dad. Dad consoled me and asked me to bury him in our garden. It was pouring cats and dogs that night as I dug a hole in our garden. I wrapped Ben’s body in a white tissue paper, filled the hole with petals and laid Ben to rest.

This goes to Ben, a hamster who wanted to be a dog.