Forgiveness
9:17 PM Posted In Anecdotes Edit This 0 Comments »
My friend's dog, Buf was defending her territory and food and attacked my new dog Happy. She pounced on him and was violent. I was shocked and shaken from her aggression towards the new comer. But what took me over later, left me with shame. I was overcome with rage and in that moment after the attack, I set upon Buf by slapping and kicking her. I saw the confusion in her eyes as she looked up at me. That night I tossed and turned in bed because I was filled with so much guilt at my lost of judgement and rational. I kept repeating over and over again, I'm sorry Buf, I'm sorry.
The next morning, when I opened the front door, climbing on me excitedly and licking my face, hands, was this wonderful little soul/dog, Buf. She had forgotten the beating. She had forgiven me.
I think of the many times someone has done me wrong and my need to be righteous. The grudge, the spite I held against this person. I ask myself now, is there a need to be right at the course of breaking a relationghip? But, what is even worse is my inability to forgive myself for the wrong or hurt that I've caused upon another. Till this day, I could not forgive myself for hurting my ex-fiancee and his family. It has been 4 years and yet I remember certain incidents of spiteful words and my own cruelty. I would weep. My ex-fiancee happened to contact me again (recently) after our separation, my first message was, "Please forgive me for having hurt you and your family". He said,"All is forgiven 4 years ago".
If I could have the short term memory of my dog Buf, and just forgive, perhaps the old wounds would not fester for so many years. If my memory is selective in that it chooses to remember the good things which I received and forget the bad, then perhaps my heart would be at peace.
The next morning, when I opened the front door, climbing on me excitedly and licking my face, hands, was this wonderful little soul/dog, Buf. She had forgotten the beating. She had forgiven me.
I think of the many times someone has done me wrong and my need to be righteous. The grudge, the spite I held against this person. I ask myself now, is there a need to be right at the course of breaking a relationghip? But, what is even worse is my inability to forgive myself for the wrong or hurt that I've caused upon another. Till this day, I could not forgive myself for hurting my ex-fiancee and his family. It has been 4 years and yet I remember certain incidents of spiteful words and my own cruelty. I would weep. My ex-fiancee happened to contact me again (recently) after our separation, my first message was, "Please forgive me for having hurt you and your family". He said,"All is forgiven 4 years ago".
If I could have the short term memory of my dog Buf, and just forgive, perhaps the old wounds would not fester for so many years. If my memory is selective in that it chooses to remember the good things which I received and forget the bad, then perhaps my heart would be at peace.
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